An Imperfect Mom

I find it very humbling to be writing a blog about parenting because I mostly feel like a failure as a mom.

Have you heard that song about being “just a mom” where the singer talks about unloading the dishwasher, buying the baby shoes, keeping the family updated on the kids, breastfeeding every few hours, making a dinner everyone will hate, and then when someone asks her what she does, she responds “I’m just a mom?”

We carry what feels like the weight of the world and the fate of a child, and I, for one, constantly feel like it’s not good enough. Mostly, I feel like I missed the mark and didn’t do things well enough or didn’t do the right things at all.

At the end of every day, I sit and take inventory of what did not get done and all the mistakes I made. But when I lay my kids down for bed, they want me to stay. They still want me, even with my shortcomings. They’re not thinking of the ways I failed. They still want me.

There will always be more laundry, more dishes, more activities, or lessons I could have done with them to help them grow. There is no way that I can love all three of my children perfectly and meet every single one of their needs. I am human, I am one person and I will fail.

I’m going to fail.

Every.

Single.

Day.

I take solace in the fact that my kids have a Heavenly Father who is perfect, who loves them perfectly and will never fail them while simultaneously making up for every single one of my mistakes. But religious beliefs aside, there is comfort in being imperfect and falling short of being a perfect parent daily.

We’re surrounded by people who are all imperfect parents, too. We will all fall short. The moms around you are not perfect. Don’t be fooled. We are all trying, and we are all failing, and that has to be okay. Our kids will learn to be imperfect and to be okay with their own imperfections based on how we handle making mistakes.

And here’s the other part: our kids are watching how we deal with failure. Our kids are watching how we handle making mistakes, and they are learning resiliency, humility, and forgiveness and how to treat themselves by seeing how we love ourselves and move forward in the midst of our messes and wrongs. How do we walk this fine line between wanting to do everything perfectly because we want the absolute best for the little people that we are raising, but also knowing that we are going to miss the mark?

We look at our children at the end of the day. They saw the stress, unwashed dishes, unmopped floors, tears, and the not-so-flat stomach on their mom, but mostly what they saw…. Was you. A mom who was trying and a mom who loves them, who they love, and who they WANT.

They want you. You who raised her voice, who messed up, who forgot that thing (or 10 things), who burnt dinner, who didn’t have the right thing to say, who had a hard time regulating her own emotions. They want all of her.

And isn’t that who we’re doing this for anyway? For the kids that want you despite it all. So, let’s make the mistakes, let’s fail, and then reach back to the little hands reaching out for more cuddles, more time with the mom that gave them what they think is the perfect day because it was everything they needed and more. It was a day with you.