Having “Mom Friends”
I knew that having friends with kids is important not only for myself but for my children, but I never really knew how important until recently. I have recently started to get to know some other moms with kids the same age as Carson, and it truly has been something that I have been missing since the day Carson was born.
Most of my high school and college friends I have kept in contact with do not want kids or have not started having them yet. My family that has kids are much older than mine or have moved to other places around the country. I, however, feel very fortunate that those friends who do not want to have kids still want to be in my life and my children’s. My kids know these friends as Aunts and Uncles, and they absolutely love seeing them when they get the chance. As much as I love this, being able to talk to other moms who may be going through a very similar stage in their child’s life is something I really needed, especially as my toddler is getting older and his attitude is changing.
I know there are so many areas where you can meet other moms, but I have never been good at using these resources, especially when I am working full time and trying to keep a regular schedule for my kiddos. Yes, I understand that these are excuses and that if I really wanted to make something work, I could have. I just really couldn’t figure out how. It is confusing, I know, but it’s the only way I can explain it. I am not a huge social media person, so using things like the ‘Peanut’ app or the different Facebook pages or groups you can be a part of and meet others in the area never worked for me. I was always so fearful that I would not be meeting the person I was talking to on the other side or that some scary thing would happen when I went to meet up with other moms. So, I would only use them for short periods and get intimidated and leave. I also looked into in-person groups and classes for different age groups as your child develops, like those that Pollywog shares on their website. I wanted to attend some of these when my littles were much younger, but COVID happened and I already didn’t like my online meetings, so meeting on Zoom for these group sessions was also not something I would enjoy. I was hoping I would be able to try in person as things opened, but the timing just didn’t work for me and my work schedule. So, I felt out of luck and honestly kind of depressed. I felt like I was doing a disservice to my kids by not having other moms and play dates.
However, there came a turning point semi-recently, and I have started to interact more with some of Carson’s friends’ moms from our daycare. We have had a couple of play dates recently and have been attending birthday parties over the summer. This has been so much fun, and I have been able to have adult conversations with other moms and get insight into how they deal with certain milestones in their toddlers’ lives. I am learning that we are not the only ones having issues with our kids throwing complete tantrums before bedtime or not listening to us when we tell them not to do certain things. I have also learned that Carson is right where he should be with potty training and that he is not the only one who doesn’t want to eat anything but snacks all the time. I know that there are so many good things that we are all going through too, but when you are in the middle of trying to figure out how to handle the toddler age, all you can talk about is whether or not you are the only one going through that certain stage. I had always been told by my parents that when the kids get into school and extracurricular activities, that is when you start to meet other parents and develop a community. I can see that now, and I am so glad that it has started while the kids go to daycare.
I am so thankful for the other moms in this daycare and their willingness to open up and want friendships with other moms as well. It helps to build a community and learn from one another. I feel the community we are building right now will last a long time and hopefully continue once the kids go to school in different areas. I would like to believe that we will be able to have these kids grow up together, learn from each other, and begin lifelong friendships. Only time will tell, but for now, I am truly grateful that my daycare brought us moms together and that Carson has a group of friends that he can play with outside of daycare as well.