School Growing Pains

Getting a little one ready for and adjusted to preschool is a huge adjustment!!!! A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about how to get yourself and your child ready for school, but when I was preparing to send the finished draft over to Pollywog, I realized school was starting in THREE DAYS!

I am clearly the one who needed to prepare, and boy, have I realized one thing – there’s no real way to be totally ready for school, especially when you have little kids. With that in mind, there are a few ways to manage the new school year.

Routine. Routine. Routine

Keep things predictable in the season of new things for your kiddo. Wake up, go to bed, eat, play, and take a bath at the same time every day. In a world where everything seems out of control and totally foreign, doing the same things in the same order at the same time will let your kids feel a sense of security and comfort in knowing what to expect at home. We use something called a visual schedule, but I’ll talk about that in a different blog. Think pictures instead of words to guide you step by step through your to-do list.

Get your kids involved

To empower and encourage our kids to be successful without us doing everything for them, let them help prepare for school as much as possible. Let them pack their own snacks. Make sure you send snacks that are both healthy and familiar, as they need something they’re already comfortable with. We have our kids pick one or two snacks to take to school, and we choose a fruit and a protein to pair with their choice. Additionally, we prep snacks at night so we don’t have to rush to do it in the morning. Have them choose their own clothes. Let them get dressed alone in case they have to do this at school (I do the first step of getting dressed by putting on each article of clothing for them and make them finish. For example, I’ll put the shirt on their head, but they have to pull their arms and head through.)

Help them find their voice

In a world full of noise, it’s easy for the quiet ones to be ignored. As a parent, one of the best things we can do for our children is teach them how to communicate their needs and wants. We are their only advocate, but when we’re not around, they have to advocate for themselves. If words are a struggle, then consider applying for a speech device or using pictures to communicate basic needs. A small child who cannot express their need for water or to use the bathroom must have a way to communicate to an adult that a basic human need is unmet. Because the year is just starting, your child grabbing himself will not be enough to signal to a teacher or aide that he needs to find a bathroom. The fake coughing your daughter does for a drink of water is not a universal sign, so we have to teach our children to communicate what they need more directly. Teachers will not know our children’s “tells” as the year starts.

Here are some printouts from getgoally.com (see link and additional info below). These are intended for children who are nonverbal, but when I taught, I had students who were English Language Learners or had severe speech impediments, and I wish they had had these cards to help them tell school staff what they needed. Print, maybe laminate, and put them on a metal ring for your kiddo. If your child is nervous or shy, encourage them to ask for what they need while eating out and have them order for themselves. Our kids need to have a voice so that they can speak up when something is wrong, when something is good, and to improve their confidence, too.

Roll with the punches

As our kids adjust to a new routine, new people, and new expectations, they will be tired. They will also be rowdy. Everyone is on their best behavior, which means they control their bodies and impulses better while at school. When your kids get home, they may act like complete crazies, screaming and fighting over every single request. They’re tired, they’re adjusting, and they don’t know how to put all of that into words. Give them room to talk about what’s happening at school and how they might feel, but chances are, they aren’t able to articulate just what is going on in their minds and hearts. Since they’re on their best behavior all day, they’ll be more tired and also have a lot of pent-up energy and tension that will likely be released on you, their safe person. Let them lose it. Keep boundaries with safety and treatment of others in place, but let them get all of the tears and frustrations out. Give them plenty of time to be active and run around. Feed them extra at home because they are probably too nervous to eat at the new place called school. Give them grace and give them extra snuggles, extra sleep, and extra safety. That security will come with routine, giving them words for what they need and how they feel, and through assuring them (and yourself) that things will get easier for all of you. This school thing is brand new, but your kids and your lonely house will all get used to this new way of life just in time for Christmas Break! You’ve got this, guys!

A resource I like: Visual Cards (https://getgoally.com/blog/autism-communication-cards/#download-free-autism-communication-cards)

This is a resource I found on the Autism Speaks Website, but you can also use Pinterest to search for cards or create your own using stock photos from a program like Microsoft Word.

If your child is nonverbal, you could ask your physician or speech therapist for a referral to a company that provides speech devices to children who struggle to speak and need something to speak for them to keep them safe.