Celebrating Father’s Day, Even When It’s Difficult

Father’s Day is coming up, and I am very aware how hard this day can be for some of us whether it’s because of busy schedules, lack of funds, the fact that he sucks or maybe you don’t have it in you to plan one more celebration after all the school/sports/birthday end of the year stuff you just had to endure.

Dads deserve to be celebrated by the people who made them dads- their kids! So, if your relationship with your kids’ dad is perfect, rocky, or totally non-existent, read on for some ideas on how to make this day not completely terrible for you, no matter what your obstacle to participating in Father’s Day may be.

Dad’s Day on the Cheap

Celebrating a person can be difficult when you have NO funds. But you don’t have to spend a single penny to celebrate Dad. I once grabbed index cards, an envelope, and a pen and created a “Happy Envelope.” I wrote down a bunch of memories, ideas, song lyrics, or jokes on the index cards and told my dad to choose a card from the envelope anytime he needed to get happy. Here are some other free DIY ideas for Dad using things around the house:

• Breakfast in bed – depending on the age of your kids, make it easier on yourself and let them do as much as is age-appropriate. Even if it’s just choosing what to bring him or handing him a napkin, get the kids involved.
• Affirmations – at a meal, have everyone go around the table and tell Dad why they love him. They can share funny anecdotes, or draw a picture if that’s easier for some of our less eloquent kiddos.
• Baked goods – Dads generally love a good treat. You could use what you can find in the pantry to make cookies, brownies, or whatever creation the kids can come up with (it’s his gift, so you don’t have to eat it, right?). We do no-bake cookies when we’re out of eggs and there’s no oven (or stove if you choose to use your microwave). Check out the recipe we use here: Chocolate Peanut Butter No Bake Cookies
• Anything with a painted handprint – we had no money last year, so I found instructions for how to make a card using the kids’ handprints in a golf-themed design. I stuck this magnificent artwork in an old picture frame we had to make it look nicer. Check out Pinterest for handprint gift ideas for Dads.

Celebrating today seems like too much. Do I have to?

Whether you’re too tired, Dad won’t care if you float the holiday to next year, or if you have a dad that hasn’t done a thing worth celebrating since he let you go and signed the divorce papers, there is a lot of good that comes out of celebrating anyone, including the father of your children. Here are some of the benefits of teaching your kids to celebrate their dad (even if you don’t like him much).

Celebrating:

• Fosters gratitude and gratitude reduces depression, improves relationships (even a relationship with oneself), and reduces stress and anxiety, which can benefit your immune system.
• Creates stronger bonds by creating connection, deepening intimacy, and creating resilience in a relationship- it’s hard to hold a grudge when there’s a party going on!
• Encourages positive behaviors – your kids will want to celebrate people and value them, whether it’s for a special day or just for achieving a good grade. We’re actually encouraging our little people to be good people through celebrating others.

Read more at: 7 ways your brain and body benefit from taking time to celebrate

Dad chooses to be absent.

What if it’s Father’s Day and the kids don’t know their dad, or it’s not healthy to have him around? Is there another strong male figure who has been a long-term positive influence and dependable role model for your kiddo? A grandpa, uncle, stepdad? Consider celebrating this person, even in a small way, such as taking them for ice cream, which can help keep your kids from feeling like they’re missing out on this special day and still promote the same benefits of celebrating someone that I mentioned before.

Dad has passed away, and this is a day you’d rather avoid

Grief is so unpredictable, and it tends to strike when we least expect it. But this is a day that you can definitely anticipate will hurt, although you never know how your grief will manifest itself. Maybe you want to sleep through the day so you don’t have to think about the man you’re missing. Perhaps you don’t want to go anywhere to be forced to pay attention to the people who get to spend this day happily cheering on their dad, who is sitting right there with them.

Hey, I don’t blame you. And that’s totally understandable.

If you’re up for it, maybe consider spending the day celebrating your dad anyway. Make his favorite meal. Talk about him, heck, talk TO him through the day. Write a card. Visit his gravesite. Think about your favorite Father’s Day (or even your worst) that you spent together. You are still a son or daughter, and your dad is still your dad, even if he is not on this Earth, so celebrate who he was and who he continues to be through you or others whose lives your dad helped shape. If this seems unusual, consider the benefits of celebrating that I listed above.

So, party like it’s 1999 this Father’s Day. Tell some dad jokes. Get together with extended family so you don’t have to cook a whole meal, just a side dish. Let your kids be themselves and show him all the love they can, because Dad deserves it.